Hannah's Heart...

How do we learn how to wrestle for good things? To be real with the deep desires, honest pains - and still be in an attitude of surrender and worship of Him who is so much higher than our understandings?

Lately I've been thinking about Hannah a lot, even buying a book in this journey/musing. This passage stood out to me:

"We will never understand Hannah until we begin with the assumption that her heart beats the same as ours do, that she has feelings just like we do. In her barrenness she was, by her own admission, in bitterness of soul. She wanted nothing more in all of life than to hold a baby of her own. Only when we allow these very human passions to exist in Hannah will we begin to see the fierceness of her love for God. ....

Hannah's psalms seem to reveal that everything changed for her when she realized Peninniah was laughing at God. Suddenly, much as Hannah longed for a child, she wanted something else even more. She wanted God to vindicate himself as the God who hears and and answers the prayers of those who trust in him. In prayer, she raised her sword in the battle for God's glory. The passion of her heart voiced the passion of the prayer Jesus later taught his disciples - 'Hallowed be your name' (Matthew 6:9). She willingly offered up her most precious treasure to shut the mouth of the one who dared to mock her God."

So I've taken to writing my own psalms - prayers of honesty, for guidance, - but psalms that continually point back to the goodness and glory of God: to remind myself whenever I feel guilty, lonely, barren, or futile that He is beautiful, and invites me to come and worship Him. I am not all of those sad and broken adjectives - I was created for His glory!!