"Now - I - something - can - do"

"'Not my will but Thine be done' ... in the middle of this period of exhaustion, this anxiety, this particular shock, this prison, this wheelchair, this set of bandages on our eyes, this kind of frustration, this pile of dirty dishes, this lack of understanding.... this unbearable, dull monotony, this unending succession of changes. Whatever the immediate 'now' is made up of... "

Edith Schaeffer, Affliction

The immediate now is always haunting in its inescapability, whether overwhelmed by the work to do, or frozen in place, unsure of how or where to proceed. I've finished my time in Liberia and had a few weeks with my parents in the Emirates, relaxing, observing, processing, and applying to jobs. On Tuesday I'll begin the journey back to Washington, DC, returning to start my fourth year in the happy little house on 15th street...

Big questions loom in my mind, and I realize yet again how often I would just like to know what comes next. But let me choose the way of trust, and in my immediate now echo the simple declaration, 'Not my will but Thine be done.'